Waking up for a glass of water the other night, I was shocked to find the most world’s MOST GIGANTIC cockroach strolling leisurely along my kitchen counter. The thing was so big it could have taken on a small dog. It certainly didn’t care about me, just kept on its slow, many-legged perambulation around the sink.
This was not only disgusting but galling. My apartment is not some smelly, unswept frat house! Where were all the geckos that I tolerate living in my apartment because they’re supposed to keep down the insects?!
And that’s when I leapt across the kitchen and turned the tap on full blast, sweeping the cockroach into the sink and leaving it caught against the mesh of the drain. But cockroaches are notoriously hard to kill; even ones that look properly smooshed may take days to die. This one certainly wasn’t expiring anytime soon: it almost seemed to enjoy the impromptu shower. Finally I opted for the spray can of Doom, which I absolutely hate the smell of but at least isn’t as cringe-worthy as a cockroach bathing in the same space where I wash my dishes. Doom did the trick: the lifeless body of the cockroach was there in my drain the next morning, looking like an overturned boat. I gave my sink a good scouring.
Since that fateful night, I have witnessed many large insects on nightly excursions around my apartment, usually cockroaches. My flatmate has woken up to massive columns of ants making some pilgrimage across the bathtub. But we count ourselves lucky: a friend living in a neighbouring flat has found a rat swimming in her toilet!